Lifestyle, Mental Health

Stagnancy

In the last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling a bit…stagnant, which got me thinking, why do we feel that way? At what point does everything we have experienced pile up and make us feel…motionless?

It’s so easy to look at other people’s lives and think, ‘Wow they really have their life together. What am I doing with mine?’ and to forget that we very rarely see the true nature of someone’s daily lifestyle. We don’t see their struggles if they choose to keep those aspects of their lives private. There’s something so ¬†fascinating with that fact because we’re all aware that no one’s life is all sunshine and lollipops, but we are so quick to push that little reminder out of our minds and to focus solely on the things we don’t have but that someone else does have.

Stagnancy is a horrible feeling, especially in a world where everything travels at the speed of light. To feel that you are stuck in one place while everyone else around you are progressing takes a toll on your mental and emotional health.

I do think stagnancy, as uncomfortable as it is, is also somewhat a blessing in disguise. It forces you to evaluate your lifestyle choices, to really sit down and look at what’s working and what’s not working in your life. Sometimes what we need is that swift kick to the butt from reality, and I think stagnancy is one of those kicks.

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Lifestyle, Mental Health

The Freedom of Independent Ventures

I used to detest going out by myself. I hated going out alone to shop and eat. Having a friend with me was my security blanket. It would give me confidence to walk around the stores and to enter restaurants without feeling like I was being judged. It gave me comfort. I often felt as if everyone was judging me, scrutinizing my every move when I was alone. It was awkward to walk into a restaurant alone, but even worse when walking into a store. It was uncomfortable when you walked into a store to browse and not to buy, because I felt as if my every step was watched to make sure I didn’t take anything.

Over the last year, with the bestie out of town and no friend with similar enough shopping tastes, I was left alone to tackle the shops. And you know what? I thoroughly enjoyed it. So much that now when I want or need to go shopping, I don’t hesitate to go alone. Perhaps it’s a part of growing up, to finally enjoy being alone and hanging out with yourself, or maybe it’s just my own personal preference that I’ve never quite acknowledged. Regardless, the entire situation was a blessing in disguise. I learned a lot.

When none of my friends or family are available to hang out with me and explore the city, I will go on my own. Of course, exercise common sense and take extra precaution, but learn to not be afraid to go out and enjoy life alone. Take a long walk around your neighbourhood, explore the lively streets and peruse the shops. Sit and enjoy a coffee in a cafe. Just remember that humans will always judge, but when you’re just another stranger to someone, that judgement only lasts for that second they see you or the second that they meet you. Once you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind.

Recently I’ve been walking to different destinations by foot and taking the time to really immerse myself with my surroundings.¬†This newfound “freedom” made me realize how unnecessary it is to need to be a part of every social gathering there is and how tiring the mentality of “everyone must hang out together at all times” is. Being a little removed from social situations every now and then is not a bad thing- it’s healthy to not be caught up in everyone else’s lives at all times. Learn to be comfortable with yourself. When you’re secure about yourself it shows, and that will draw like minded individuals to you.

I still may not be totally comfortable with saundering into a restaurant and having a nice meal by myself, but I think with due time I’ll get there.

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Lifestyle, Mental Health

Falling: A Valley

Recently I’ve been going through a bit of a rough time and I’ve reached a point where I’m simply not that happy, both with myself and my environment. During this time, as much as it was disheartening, I did discover a silver lining. I became more honest with my flaws and I think that was the step I so desperately needed to take. It wasn’t that I didn’t know about them, but rather I was scared of confronting them.

Taking that plunge and admitting to yourself that you need to better yourself takes time and is a conscious effort. I may be in an extended valley for now, but I hope that I’ll be moving onto a peak in the near future.

How do you deal with personal disappointment?

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Lifestyle, Mental Health

Distorted Body Images: Sizing charts

I have a problem with sizing charts and its, lets say ‘aura’ (namely online sizing charts). It categorizes people into a particular group, and more often than not, into unrealistic standards. It asks for conformity. If you fit into this, you’re this. If you don’t fit into this, well then good luck out there. I dislike how they don’t take into account other body shapes. I am a pear shape with basically no bosom,¬†so sizing charts for one pieced items never work out. And no one ever talks about such a body shape, but that’s another tangent. I understand a sizing chart is a rough estimate of how an item is to fit, but the lack of flexibility in those listed measurements bothers me. However, my main¬†problem is with the stigma around the idea of fitting into a particular size and what that means to society.

I dislike how a number or a letter on a label has the ability to reduce us into self-conscious, confidence-lacking individuals. ¬†It’s silly. Why put so much time and effort into a number or letter? What is¬†your true source of happiness in all this?

And then a couple years ago vanity sizing became a thing. Another can of worms.

This is a big topic, so here’s just a little bit of what’s on my mind. What are your thoughts? Leave them below!

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Lifestyle, Mental Health

Mental Health: Be Proactive

Mental health is a topic that is on the rise and for good reason. Mental illness places an incredible burden on the individual, his/her family and friends, and the environment around them. It has nearly become normalcy to see  a mentally unwell individual resort to physical abuse towards others to garner some kind of attention. A cry for help. In frustration.

What we need is to start tackling the stigma that’s associated with mental illness. We as a society don’t even bat an eyelash when we say we need medication for our physical illnesses, however once we say we need medication for our mind, everyone turns a blind eye. Why is it acceptable to treat someone with distaste when they require medicine for their mind? I understand it is frightening on many levels but this fear is largely because we are ignorant. Often times what we fear are things we do not understand. If we as a whole can put our egos aside, and say, ‘Hey, I am scared. And that’s ok. I can learn about the situation and from having a better understanding, I can put aside those fears’, I think we can be in a better place.

Tackling the stigma of mental illness has no overnight solution. I think we can start by focusing on the communities around us.

What are your thoughts? I would love to hear!

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